disc Proclaimed Sanctuary SKRaTCHED!
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Sunday, March 23, 2003
Mood:Angery
Song of Choice: "If I told you this was killing me would you stop? " by The Juliana Theory
Topic: Forgiveness?
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 7 Weeks and 5 days
Days Until Spring Break:24

Hi, Sorry I havent written I'm Kinda scared to talk to you I havent stoped thinking of you. Not a day goes by that I dont find mself dreaming of the last time I saw you when you came to see me at my house. Kim I'm really sorry about hurting you, I never meant for it to happen I have at least 12 letters for you that I havent given to Quita and for that I'm sorry again. I still love you and I always will. If you want and I please ask you to write me back I dont care if you curse me out at least I would have gotten a response from you. Then if you do I would like to talk to you. With all of my love and my forgivness Your Angel of the dark MIchael Angelo Doud Jr.

Yeah I found that in my comment box...HA forgiveness Michael Doud Forgiveness for what? for moving on with my life? huh for forgeting all about you? God do you think this is a fucking game huh? WEll? My God who do you think you are? You think you can ignore me for months and then just show up saying you love me and I'll come back huh? Fuck you! I have been through way too much shit okay I have spent more than a year trying to get myself together because of you! I hate myself because of you! I was freakin' what 14 years old I was totally in love with you! God Damn you and you just went from chick to chick to chick FUCK YOU! I am tired of this game Micheal!! I am tired of this shit okay! Screw you you unfaithful bastard oh my God! I would do anything for you but don't you dare ask me to love you like I once did DON'T YOU DARE! I am not going to have my life turned upside down and inside out for you again! How many times do I have to rearange my life for you? God Screw you! Man do you think you can just push me to the side sleep with any whore you please and then expect me to sit here and wait for you? Why what for? What the hell for? Have you ever thought about anyone but yourself? Do you know what you put me through? Do you have any idea what you did to my mind? Huh? I went through about half a fucking year feeling absolutely worthless completely and totally worthless! Like I didn't matter! and you know who the hell pulled me out? I'll tell you Quita is the one that sat with me on the bus and held me when I cried! Junior and Geimer are the ones that told me I matter they're the ones that told me I was beautiful when you made me feel ugly. Peter is the one that got my head together when I was half dead on the floor! They are the ones that were there for me when I wanted to die when I wanted to give up!! So you know don't give me this forgiveness crap okay? Damn...know this though...I don't hate you by all means I should want you dead but you know what I don't I would still do anything for you help you in any way but don't you dare ask me to love you like I once did because I am not the same girl I was back then and you obviously aren't the guy I feel in love with so if you want to try again feel free but I am not going to try to get you because I spent quiet sometime fighting for you but now I think if you want me you gotta try and let me tell you you are on that bottom rung my friend okay there are guys that are way way more deserving then you so you had better start figureing out what you're gonna do. Once upon a time you made me happy but you know what you caused me a hundred times more pain then you ever gave me happiness...but I still hold tight to those happy moments. I was happy with you once you can try to get that back if you want but your chances are next to zero because I am very bitter because of you. And if you hate me for this oh well right?

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